"I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect."

"Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair."

"Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed."

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible."

"If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it."

"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."

"Our choices add up; each one influences others, and cumulatively a series of delightful short-term choices can leave us much worse off in the long run."

"Pride defeats its own end, by bringing the man who seeks esteem and reverence into contempt."

"In matters of conscience, the law of majority has no place."

"One of these days, the people are going to demand peace of the government, and the government is going to have to give it to them."

"If you have the creative urge, it isn't going to go away. But sometimes it takes a while before you accept the fact."

"Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it."