"This report, by its very length, defends itself against being read."

"Like the bee, we should make our industry our amusement."

"I love people, it's mankind I can't stand."

"Of all the possessions of this life fame is the noblest; when the body has sunk into the dust the great name still lives."

"A fellow can't keep people from having a bad opinion of him, but he can keep them from being right about it."

"Today the real test of power is not capacity to make war but the capacity to prevent it."

"The family is the country of the heart."

"A husband is what's left of the lover once the nerve has been extracted."

"EPICURE, n. An opponent of Epicurus, an abstemious philosopher who, holding that pleasure should be the chief aim of man, wasted no time in gratification from the senses."

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."

"Pushing forty? She's hanging on for dear life."

"The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying bastards"