"There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators."

"If studidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?"

"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."

"I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up."

"Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific animals."

"On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does."

"We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."

"Nurture your mind with great thoughts; to believe in the heroic makes heroes."

"Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story."

"America's present need is not heroics, but healing; not nostrums but normalcy; not revolution, but restoration."

"I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree of responsibility that comes with his freedom."

"Our heroes are people and people are flawed. Don't let that taint the thing you love."